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Jump to Key Points Most doctors have been cornered at a BBQ, at a wedding, or in a family group text to diagnose a rash, review a lab result, or weigh in on “is this normal?”
Addressing patient concerns and questions like these may be part of your day-to-day as a doctor. But what about the unexpected questions you get from nonpatients — from friends, family, neighbors, and even strangers?
About Medscape Insights
Medscape continually surveys physicians and other medical professionals about key practice challenges and current issues, creating high-impact analyses. For example, Medscape’s Physician Friendships Report 2026 found:
- 95% of physicians say they have been asked for medical advice from friends and family.
- Most doctors report trying to keep their patients clear of the “friend zone.”
- Doctors said giving a friend medical advice is sometimes unavoidable.
Can You Take a Look at This?
“People ask about rashes all the time…because you ’ re a doctor, people will show you their rash, no matter where it may be!” said Devang Gujarathi, MD, dean of clinical sciences at Saint James School of Medicine in Park Ridge, Illinois, and an internist in North Carolina. “I’m not a dermatologist, and other than identifying some general features and some dangerous rashes, I am clearly not a subject matter expert in that area.”
Is There a Doctor on This Flight?
Rebecca Andrews, MD, was on a flight where a passenger had a bad reaction to codeine-containing cold medicine and heard the dreaded phrase, “Is there a doctor on the plane?” Andrews, a nurse practitioner, and a firefighter all jumped in to assist. “It was actually a great combination as the firefighter knew how to put the crowd at ease while we took care of the woman,” said Andrews, a professor of internal medicine and physician at UConn Health in Farmington, Connecticut. “But as we were sitting on the aisle floor with her, people are asking us, ‘well, what is the best thing then for a cold?’ It was kind of crazy.”
- 95% of physicians report friends/family request medical advice.
- Common unsolicited topics: rashes, sleep, headaches, MSK pain, GI sx.
- Nonpatient advice often occurs in public settings: flights, weddings, stores, funerals.
- Photos/messages may be insufficient for reliable remote assessment; in-person eval needed.
- Best response: set context, avoid overreassurance, define when further assessment is needed.
Trapped by the Middle Seat
Even if you’re not called into action on a flight, you may find yourself peppered with questions from passengers. “I recall a flight where I was in the middle seat,” said Eric J. Olson, MD, professor of medicine at the Mayo Clinic Alix School of Medicine in Rochester, Minnesota. “After my row mates determined before takeoff [that] I was a sleep medicine physician, they happily spent the duration of the 2.5-hour flight asking me all sorts of sleep questions and sharing their sleep challenges.
“Soon, some passengers in the row in front of us and the one behind us were also asking questions and sharing their stories. I couldn’t stop the conversation to concentrate on what I had brought on board to read in preparation for a meeting.”
Wedding Guests Have Questions, Too
Family gatherings are a hotbed for questions from friends and family. “At a wedding, in the ladies’ room, someone will mention that I am the doctor in the ‘family,’” said Andrews. “And the next thing you know, there is a lineup of questions from ‘my mom is starting to decline mentally, any advice?’ to various degrees of undressing to show me rashes, moles, and a tattoo that they want to know if it would be able to be lasered off.”
Second Opinion, Stat
“My younger brother is also a doctor. Generally, close family members do this strange thing where they call both of us with the same question. People from younger generations will generally take our advice and move on with their lives, but folks of my parents’ generation are a whole different ball game,” said Gujarathi. “They will call with a problem and deem it very urgent. As doting sons/nephews/grandchildren, we give our best advice, a detailed plan of action, and even offer to call in prescriptions or help them get appointments. Then, they will summarily ignore everything we said, disagree with our diagnoses, and listen to a nonphysician neighbor about some home remedy or completely ignore the medical issue altogether.”
What About the Latest Fill In the Blanks?
At family get-togethers, Andrews knows that when she hears, “hey, Becca…” that a medical question is coming. “Most often it will be [about] headaches, muscle/joint [pain], and then sometimes the newest fads,” said Andrews. “Everyone is looking for a quick fix, so if they hear that there is a relative drop in cancer rates with the GLP-1 medications, they want to try them or know if that is true. And then I show them that the individual absolute risk (for them personally) is not anywhere close to the fancy big number reported. There are always questions on supplement fads like creatine or NAD+.”
Does Thy Doctor Take His Own Advice?
Rizwan Tai, DPM, a podiatrist based in Houston, was grocery shopping when a man accosted him to ask whether his shoes were “podiatrist-approved.” “It makes me laugh since it was a random encounter and it totally caught me off guard,” said Tai. “The person at the grocery store recognized me because I had treated a relative of his. That connection made him feel comfortable approaching me in public.” Apparently, he wanted to know that a podiatrist walked the walk of his own advice.
Random Incoming Photo
One night, a friend of Tai’s sent him a blurry photo of his foot and asked if it was broken. “He wanted quick reassurance, but the image wasn’t clear enough to give a reliable opinion,” said Tai. “I explained that and encouraged him to book an appointment. He appreciated the honesty and was reassured that I wasn’t just guessing.” Tai’s also been asked whether certain shoes “cause bunions instantly” or if ankle swelling could be fixed by drinking more water. “These moments are lighthearted, but they show how much people rely on doctors for quick fixes,” he added.
When It’s Not About the Dearly Departed
Brian J. Cole, MD, MBA, was asked about how to manage diarrhea while in the front row of a funeral. “One of the family members leaned over. He knew that I was a doctor and started asking me about what I think was the cause of his gastrointestinal problems,” said Cole, a sports medicine orthopedic surgeon at Midwest Orthopaedics at Rush in Chicago. “It was a little bit outside my domain — and not exactly the place where one is going to answer those types of questions.”
What’s on the Menu?
Professor Prasanna Sooriakumaran has been asked about whether frequent urination means prostate cancer, if cycling can harm the prostate, or whether certain foods can prevent prostate problems — all over dinner. “Most of the time when a friend mentions a symptom over dinner and says, ‘should I worry?’ what they are looking for is…some reference as to when they should get further checked,” said Sooriakumaran, a urologist, prostate cancer surgeon, and medical director of Prostate Clinic London in London, England.
“I try to give them some context, dissuade them of false hopes or fears, and let them know when further assessment would be appropriate,” she said.
When you’re asked surprising questions in surprising circumstances (and you will be!), that’s almost always the best way to respond.
The experts cited in this article reported having no relevant disclosures.
Kelly K. James is a freelancer, content manager, and author of The Book That (Almost) Got Me Fired: How I (Barely) Survived a Year in Corporate America. She covers health/wellness, business/career, and psychology topics from her home in the Chicago suburbs.
