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Medical training had an unexpected benefit for Brian Garibaldi, MD, MEHP, director of the Center for Bedside Medicine and professor of medicine at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago — it was the start of some lifelong friendships. “Some of my closest friends are people I met during intern year. We’ve been through some incredible ups and downs,” said Garibaldi. “One of my best friends from residency, I still speak to every week — sometimes about career stuff and sometimes about cases we’re seeing. We have a bond that’s incredibly strong.”
That kind of bond is essential for overall health, even — especially! — for busy doctors. Strong, supportive friendships can help physicians manage the stress of practicing medicine, bolster their emotional health, and make for happier lives both at work and at home. So why are friendships so important to doctors’ lives, and why are they so elusive to doctors?
About Medscape Data
Medscape continually surveys physicians and other medical professionals about key practice challenges and current issues, creating high-impact analyses. For example, Medscape’s Mental Health & Well-Being Report 2026 found that
- 8 in 10 doctors surveyed said their friendships have stayed the same or worsened.
- Friendships can be a casualty of a busy career in medicine.
- Only 16% said their friendships have improved.
Friendship Combats Loneliness
Society has never needed supportive social relationships more than it does today. “We are coming off the heels of a loneliness epidemic. Loneliness has been associated with higher risk of chronic illnesses, higher blood pressure, generalized anxiety, and other health problems,” said Gregory Scott Brown, MD, clinical associate professor at the University of Houston College of Medicine and chair of the American Psychiatric Association’s Council on Communications. In fact, in 2023, the US Surgeon General described the mortality impact of being “socially disconnected” as similar to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
That’s the bad news. The good news is that quality friendships not only help shield physicians from loneliness and make them happier overall but “the world’s longest scientific study [the Harvard Study of Adult Development] showed that it’s connection — it’s our relationships — that are our highest indicator of how happy and fulfilled we are,” said Brown.
“I think it’s different for each individual but we’re social creatures. We’re evolutionarily hardwired for community, and touch, and communication,” agreed Garibaldi. “Being part of a community, whether a small group of friends or large group of coworkers, provides people with a natural outlet to share joy and accomplishments — and also an outlet for the tragedies that happen in the normal lifespan. I think friendship is important for everybody.”
The Challenge for Doctors
But every doctor knows that even crucial priorities sometimes get overlooked or ignored. “Friendships are challenging for doctors,” said Brown. “Physicians who work a lot and have hectic schedules tend to…have a family, and we have our colleagues at work…doctors can struggle with that. They can find themselves with fewer friends compared to people who don’t work as much.”
They also find themselves with too little time to nurture old friendships or seek out new ones.
“The irony of being a physician, especially a physician in the [emergency department]…is that you are literally surrounded by people all day but it’s all work-related, and those connections are very focused on identifying severe illness and injury,” said Jeff Goodloe, MD, an emergency physician in Oklahoma. “That’s a very different dynamic than fostering friendship and being able to decompress a bit, to share things that you are excited about or happy about or worried about.”
Yet “the truth is that many physicians are not easy friends to have,” he added. “Welcome to dinner getting canceled, or ‘we were going to get together tonight, but I got called into the hospital.’” Unfortunately, that can be the norm with doctor friends.
But doctors still need friends — both in medicine and outside of it. “There are things we witness and experience as physicians that are unique to practicing medicine,” said Garibaldi. “Friends in medicine can support, commiserate, and advise when you lose a patient, or are struggling with your practice, or when a medical error happens.” They “get it.”
Making (and Keeping) Friends
Building and maintaining friendships as a doctor requires intentionality. “Friendships happen more organically when we’re kids and less when we’re busy adults,” said Brown. At work, you might ask someone about their family or their interests away from the clinic or hospital or look for ways to connect outside of medicine. “When I was a resident, the residents would go out for lunch or dinner after work — and we would just talk about work,” Brown said. “It’s hard to connect with people and become friends with people when that’s all you’re talking about…being intentional about talking about your hobbies and interests can go a long way.”
Physicians naturally gravitate toward other physicians as potential friends. And it’s a good jumping-off point. “It’s part of the natural affinity we can have for one another,” said Goodloe. “There’s that natural ability to strike up conversations.”
Newer physicians may prioritize these kinds of relationships more than their older peers do. “I think younger physicians and physicians in training are increasingly aware of the physical and mental wellness price that has been paid by those that are teaching them,” said Goodloe.
Today’s doctors want to practice medicine, but they don’t want to spend 60 hours a week doing so. They value their relationships, not only their careers. Recognizing this, medical conferences are now emphasizing the ability to connect with old friends and make new ones rather than solely focusing on the educational components.
The Benefits of Friendships Outside of Medicine
Being a doctor can feel like living in a parallel universe, added Goodloe. “It’s very important to live in that other [nonmedical] universe, particularly for physicians,” he said. “I don’t think many nonphysicians realize how difficult it is to separate work life and nonwork life — more often than not, there is a lack of separation.… Our nonphysician friendships help us from being overly insular.”
But friendships outside of medicine matter. “Whether it’s forming friendships through a community group or a running club or a church group, it’s very healthy to interact with people outside of medicine,” said Brown. “It offers balance and perspective and keeps us grounded.”
“Having the ability to have some friendships apart from that active clinical practice is not just important — it’s imperative,” Goodloe agreed. “It’s essential for our own health…not just physical health but [also] mental health.”
Garibaldi says that having friends outside medicine with whom he can “unplug” makes him a happier person and a better doctor. As a guitarist, he has sought out and found friends to play music with and attend concerts. He played baseball in college and now plays softball on a team with his young adult son.
There are many ways to cultivate those kinds of friendships. While it may require being intentional, friendships built on nonmedical connections — shared interests, hobbies, parenting children of the same age, attending the same church — provide a much-needed balance for many docs.
Finding the time for that balance, however, can be the tough part, particularly for residents and fellows. Goodloe admits that he’s a “horrible friend” when it comes to blocking off time for social activities — but that he does prioritize that time when it happens.
Understandably, friends who endure canceled plans, failed get-togethers, and repeatedly being dumped for work grow tired of it, and these friendships have a way of falling out if you don’t take precautions.
When you’re busy, a quick acknowledgment can help maintain those relationships. “Even if I’m in the middle of a busy shift, I may send a quick text message that says, ‘Sorry, getting killed right now; hope you and the kids are doing well. Love you, brother,’” said Goodloe.
As a busy doctor, being intentional and thoughtful about your social relationships is an investment in the people you care about — and in yourself. “If you try to do this medical thing and it’s all you do in life, it will absolutely chew you up,” warned Goodloe.
“When physicians are overworked, when they’re not making time for friends, there is an increased risk of burnout,” said Brown. “We know that most studies indicate that burnout rates are very high. Friendships are more than fun; they’re really important for our overall health and well-being.”
The experts cited in this article reported having no relevant disclosures.
Kelly K. James is a freelancer, content manager, and author of The Book That (Almost) Got Me Fired: How I (Barely) Survived a Year in Corporate America. She covers health or wellness, business or career, and psychology topics from her home in the Chicago suburbs.
